Sybil

            Sibyl is a movie that was based on the true story of a person who had diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).  It is always fascinating that audience would like to read or watch on the story that talks about the this disorder as it was interesting to find out that how many personality can live inside a human body.  Another reason would be that people tends to find it surprise and excited to watch this kind of movie that are related to DID as it was seldom found by people in the society.  It is considered rare cases and people do found it interesting in how a person with multiple personality could live with a normal life. 

            However, most of the movies that portrayed on this disorder tend to exaggerate on the symptoms and personality that patient had.  This can be shown in the recent movie which named Spilt which also talks about the criminal who had suffered from DID being portrayed that he had one of the personality that are criminal who kidnapped the girls and locked them in a room and lastly killed two girls.  Besides that, Korean drama which named “Kill me heal me” is a another drama talks about the man who had seven personalities in it body and how these seven personalities had took over the control on his life.  Although in the end the domain main character’s personality managed to get cured by taking over the control on his own life; however, it still has multiple personalities which includes on violent figures as the protective figure, suicide ideation figure which always seek to attempt suicide, children as symbolism of regress, figure who know how to build bomb and etc.  This all movie and drama showed that patient with DID should have the violent figure who may involve in criminal action; however it is a false statement.  There are no scientific research that showed that people with DID must include violent and the ways that the movie had been portrayed tends to exaggerate the seriousness of the disorder to the audience.  In contrast, the movie, Sibyl did not exaggerate the disorder and tends to portray the real symptoms and seriousness of the disorder.  This is shown in the movie that Sibyl did not portray any violent figure that will cause harm to the others.  This could educate the audience that DID patient is not as scary as we may taught. 

            Furthermore, most of the movie which portrayed people with DID disorder are more likely in experiencing some forms of traumatic events in the childhood.  It is align with the DSM as most of the study found that people who are unable to get away from the traumatic events in the childhood have a higher chance in getting DID.  However, it is not compulsory that people who have trauma in childhood would developed DID but it will increase the chances that people getting this disorder.  For example, Sibyl experience of abuse by her mother who had Paranoid Schizophrenia during her childhood which is the root cause that leads to her DID in her later in life.

            In conclusion, I think that Sibyl is a good movie as it demonstrate the DID with the most accuracy information without any extra exaggeration on the disorder that will miseducation the audience in it.  It is important that we know what is the root of cause that leads to the problem and we may solve the problem by curing the root of the cause.  A person tends to have may different ways to deal with the issue that came across. It is essential that we need to overcome the issue and move forward with life with a more positive attitude.  

Schindler's List

Schindler’s List is a movie that was set during world war 2 where there are conflict between the Nazi and the Jews.  Oskar Schindler who is one of the member from the Nazi party save the lives of those under oppression of the Germans.  

In the movie of that era, it does portrayed gender inequality where the male are way more superior than the female.  This is being showed in the movie where the female will be capture either work as a laborer, slave or sex partner.  This gender inequality occurred due to the roles that are given by the society.  Women who live under that period of time are confine with role of mothers and spouse even for though whose husband are from the Nazi Party.  

This is because that society at that period of times thinks that woman was teh notion of motherhood and procreation for those of child bearing ages.  The Nazi model of woman did not have their own career, but wads responsible for the education of the children and for housekeeping.  For example, Oskar Schindler’s wife has no right to scold his husband for being betrayed their marriage when she found out that her husband is having sexual relationship with another woman.  Aside from that, there are also a lot of scenes in the movie that portrayed the unusual treatment that received by the female especially to those who are Jewish.  Many Jewish female are act as the prostitute and even sex slave for the Nazi male to release the sex desire whenever they want it.   

Not to deny, gender inequality not only happen in the past but it still exist nowadays especially happen in the less developed country like Yemen, Pakistan, Syria and etc.  This can be explain generally by the norms such as patriotically and culture norms that exacerbate favoritism towards male than female.  For example, in India and China who practice patrilocality and concern for women’s “purity” help in explaining the male-skewed sex ratio and also low female employment rate.  This cultural norm has lead to the society that male proportion are more than the female proportion that may also lead to why there are many male could not find their life partner due to the imbalance proportion of male and female.  

In conclusion, gender inequality starts from the culture norm of the people and should end with people.  By changing our perceptions toward female and male, it will decreased the stereotype that people would have towards both gender on capability and also superiority.  

Hunt For The Wilderpeople

           Majority of the culture in the past did practice patriarchal where males are dominating in the society and in the family.  However, in the modern days, there are still many cultures that practice it.  This traditional role of male is being restricted as there are many “traditional masculine” men who currently experiencing a syndrome which named “Normative Male Alexithymia” especially for the male who come from collectivistic and patriarchal culture. 

            

           Normative Male Alexithymia is a disease that happen on male when they are having difficulty in articulating their inner feelings especially the feelings like hurt or vulnerability.  In short, it is a term that describe that when someone has a lot of difficulty in translating their emotional experience into words.  This symptom can be shown in the movie by the little boy (Ricky Baker) and the father (Hec) as they are unable to demonstrate their feeling of love and care for one and another especially after the death of the mother (Bella).  This phenomenon occurs can be explained by the traditional masculine role socialization which channels male into ways that being masculine male who want to portray masculinity identity will have conflict with their emotions they feel.  This is because their masculinity does not allowed them to expressed the feeling and they may perceived this kind of feeling as feminine and will decreased their masculinity in front of the society. 

For example, Hec is worried about Ricky when he found out that he had run away from home in the midnight and on the way of finding Ricky, he accidentally injures his leg.  This shows that Hec is a person who cared about Ricky but he did not know how to express it out instead he showed it through his action by telling Ricky that he actually is cared for him.  On the other hand, Ricky fakes his suicide by burning a barn and run away from home just to avoid to be sent back to the orphanage after the death of Bella as he is in love with this family and did not want to leave anymore.  This showed that Ricky is cared and love about the family but he did not know how to expressed it as there are no one there to guide him and teach him since young. 

           

            Being unable to expressed their inner feeling will causes the relationship to be difficult as it is the key variable in guiding the successful relationships.  If the need is not being met, the partner may had the feeling that they are being unknown and valued by the others.  If either one of the individual in the relationship cannot put into words their feelings about not being known and valued, but instead hides, defends, or deflects such feelings, then the chances of disharmony and vicious relational cycles are greatly increased and it even get worsen if both parties also unable to express it. 

           

           In conclusion, the relationship will only be improved if and only if both parties understand the meaning behind the action is the meaning of love and cared.  However, this understanding takes a longer period and in the meantimes there might be a lot of difficulties that may lead to many conflicts before both parties understand it.  Thus, the simplest way in improving the relationship is to speak it out the inner feelings to let the other parties know the reason behind it as it can cut short all the time and avoid the conflict to be occur.  

Grace Is Gone

          

            Grace is gone is a movie that talks about a father and two children in dealing with losing their wife and mother by putting off the pain of grief by starting a new journey of life.  In this movie, it showed that how the army’s family deal with their family member who had died in the world by protecting the country.

Summary
            Stanley Philips is a middle-aged retired army officer who care for his two daughters, Heidi (12 years old) and Dawn (8 years old), while his wife Grace who also an army officer serves in Iraq.  In one afternoon, two army officers visit his home and inform him that Grace had passed away in a combat.  He planned to tell the daughters about their mother’s death; however, he is unable to speak out the truth.  After which, he decided to take the girls to the Enchanted Gardens, a theme park in Florida that the girls have been wanting to visit for some time.
            The whole story revolve on how Stanley are experiencing in grief process and at the same time need to pretend that nothing had happen in front of the girls.  Stanley wanted to tell the truth by not causing any further damage to the girls.

Kübler-Ross model
            Grief affects everyone differently.  Some embrace it in an orgy of tears.  Others keep it contained within like some wild beast that must be controlled.  Still others seek to ignore it, perhaps not realizing that it is tireless and relentless and will catch up to its quarry eventually.  In Kübler-Ross model, there are 5 stages of grief and loss.

1) Denial and isolation.
            In this stage, grieving people are unable or unwilling to accept that the loss has taken place.  They may believe that they are just experiencing a bad dream and the loss is unreal and they believe that everything will be fine once they “wake up”.  In this stage, they will deny the truth and it is the a defence mechanism that buffers them from the loss.  They will block out words and hide themselves from the fact.  This is a temporary response that carries people through the first wave of pain.
For example, Stanley did not admit that Grace had passed away as he at first stunted when received the news of his wife dead and did not allowed his girls to eat the foods that are left by the kind neighbour after they knew on the unfortunate event of Grace. When Heidi knew about her mother’s news, she thought that this is a joke told by his father. 

2) Anger
            After people, have passed through denial and accepted that the loss has occurred, the pain re-emerge.  The intense emotion is redirected and expressed instead as anger.  The anger may aim towards at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family.  Anger may also can be divert to the person who has been lost.  Rationally, they know the person is not to be blamed.  Emotionally, they feel anger at the loss and the unfairness of it as the person cause us in pain for leaving us.  Feelings of abandonment may also occur.   
For example, Stanley are angry in scolding Heidi and Dawn for eating the food and pushing them out of the house.  Heidi was also beat his dad after she realize that it was not a joke and she blame everyone that letting her to experience it. 

3)      Bargaining
            In this stage, people beg their “higher power” to undo the loss by making a deal in any attempt to postpone the inevitable.  This is a weaker line of defence to protect us from the painful reality by involving promises of better behaviour or significant life changes will be made in order to exchange for the reversal of the loss. 

4)      Depression
             In this stage, people confront the inevitability and reality of the loss and their own helplessness to change it.  In this period grieving people may cry, experience sleep or eating habit changes, or withdraw from other relationships and activities while they process the loss they have sustained.  People may also blame themselves for having caused or in some way contributed to their loss, whether or not this is justified.
There are two types of depression are associated with mourning.  The first one is a reaction to practical implications relate to the loss.  Sadness and regret predominate this type of depression.  We worry about the costs and burial and, in our grief, we have spent less time with others that depend on us.  The phase may be eased with just simple clarification and reassurance.  Grieving people may need a bit of helpful cooperation and a few kinds of words to overcome this stage.  The second type of depression is more subtle and private.  It is a quiet process of preparation to separate and farewell our loved one.  Sometimes all the grieving people may be really need is just a hug.
For example, Stanley, Heidi and Dawn hug each others in the beach after Stanley had told both Heidi and Dawn about their mother death.  By hugging, they feel that they are helping and have one and another that can support them to pass through this stage. 

5)      Acceptance
             Finally, people entered the last stage of grieving process which is acceptance.  At this stage, they have processed their initial grief emotions and are be able to accept that the loss has occurred and cannot be undone, and are once again bounce back to their normal daily life and ready to be able to plan for their futures.
Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded by everyone.  Death may be sudden and unexpected as grieving people never see beyond own anger or denial.  However, it is different from the loved one who are diagnosed with terminal ill diseases.  In such situation, family and also the patient may be aware on their own impending death and the physical decline may be sufficient to produce a similar response.  Their behaviour implies that it is natural to reach a stage at which social interaction is limited.  The dignity and grace shown by our dying loved ones may well be the last gift of the patient to the family members.  In this phase, it is marked by withdrawal and calm.  This is not a period of happiness and must be distinguished from depression.
For example, Stanley, Heidi and Dawn attending on the Grace’s funeral may indicate that they have accept the Grace death.  In the end of the movie, Heidi was given a speech in her mother’s funeral did showed that she had accept the fact and will move on their life and left her mother in their memory. 

Contrast       
              Death and its aftermath is such a painful and disorienting time. I understand why people — both the griever and those witnessing grief — want some kind of clearly stated road map, a clearly delineated set of steps or stages that will guarantee a successful end to the pain of grief. The truth is, grief is as individual as love: every life, every path, is unique. There is no predictable pattern, and no linear progression. Despite what many “experts” say, there are no stages of grief.
Ms. Ross, the author of the grief process identified this five common experiences, not five required experiences. Her stages, whether applied to the dying or those left living, were meant to normalize and validate what someone might experience in the swirl of insanity that is loss and death and grief.  The  purpose of the stages of grief were not meant to tell you what you actually will feel, what you should feel, and when exactly you should feel it. They were not meant to dictate whether you are doing your grief “correctly” or not. They were meant to normalize a deeply not-normal time. They were meant to give comfort. This process of grief was meant as a kindness, not a cage that restricted on what others feel.  

             There is no set pattern, not for everyone and not even within each person. Each grief is unique, as each love is unique. There are no stages capable of containing all the experiences of love and pain. There are no stages of grief. Aside from just being anger, fear, peace, joy, guilt, confusion, and a range of other things might also have occurred. You will flash back and forth through many feelings, often several of them at once.  Sometimes people will be tired of grief and will wanted to turn away. They will also turn back and forth as grief has a rhythm of its own.  Your love, and your grief, are bigger than any stage could ever be.  People who had experience bigger grief, they are more likely not just in experiencing the common five stages and maybe more than that. 

Conclusion
              In a conclusion, people spend different lengths of time working through each step and express each stage with different levels of intensity.  The five stages of loss do not necessarily occur in any specific order.  We often move between stages before achieving a more peaceful acceptance of death.  Many people are not afforded to have the luxury time to reach this final stage of grief. 
The death of loved one might inspired us to evaluate our own feelings of mortality.  Throughout each stage, a common thread of hope emerges.  I believe that as long as there is life, there is hope and as long as there is hope, there is life.  It is normal that people did not experience all the stages of grief.  I believe this is because that this stage of grief model is just a form of reference that not everyone must go through every one of them as it is just helping people in gaining more understanding and know on how to place themselves into the right context. 

            This also reminds me on my close blood related who had passed away recently.  Although I am not really closed with my grandfather as I am not staying with him; however, I did feel sad when I am being forced to face the truth.  I did experience in depression and acceptance and did not experience the others as my grandfather had been diagnosed in terminally ill for a period of time and we did prepare it both mentally and physically; however, I am still shocked when I knew that he had passed away out of the sudden.  My experience supports with the argument that experts had concluded as each of us have different way in overcoming grief as it is a unique process. So, do Stanley in the movie.  We need to remember that there is no “closure.” Grief is part of love, and love evolves. Even acceptance is not final: It continuously shifts and changes. The only way to contain it is to let it be free.  

Experimenter

Introduction

In film industry, movie that usually involve psychology are usually the typical cases like counselling or criminal psychology.  There is seldom any much movie that talks about conducting research as a researcher in psychology field.  Experimenter  is the movie that talks about the obedience research that conducted by Stanley Milgram.  

Summary

The film is based on the true story of the famous social psychologist Stanley Milgram who had conducted a series of radical behaviour experiments in the University.  The purpose of the experiment is to investigate the willingness of human to obey an authority figure to administer electric shocks to the strangers. The movie are separated into two parts.  In the first half of film, it showed the audience on how Milgram had conducted his experiments and how he meets Sasha, who will become his wife in the later part of the movie. The second parts of the movie portrayed the struggles with the public perceptions about the ethics of the experiments by Milgram.  Fortunately, he pushed through it and move forwards in his life to become a professor in New York City and continue his research in social interactions and social pressure in a more real-life experiment settings.  

Obedience

Not to forget the most known experiment that had done by Milgram will be the obedience experiment.  It is a well-established concept in social psychology that almost appeared in every introductory textbook of psychology.  In this movie, Milgram had concluded that up to all the participants continued to obey the instructions given by the authority up to 300 volts and surprisingly there are 65% of the participants obey the instructions given by the authority in proceed to give the electric shocks up to 450 volts.  It showed that people who are ordinarily like you and I are more likely to obey the orders given by an authority figure, even to the extent of killing an innocent human being.  Obedience to authority is ingrained in us all from the wall we are brought up since young.  This is because people tends to obey the orders from other people if they recognize their authority as morally right.  This response to legitimate authority is learned in various situations, such as, family, school and workplace.  

Milgram’s Agency Theory

Milgram explained the behaviour of his participants by suggesting that people actually have two states of behaviour when they are in a social situation:

l The autonomous state - People direct their own of actions and take up the responsibility for causing the results of those actions.

l The agentic state - People allow others to direct their actions and pass off the responsibility for the final outcome to the person who gave the orders.  This situation also known as the participants act as the agent for another person’s will.  

       In short, Milgram suggested two things that must be place in order for a person to enter the agentic state would be the person who are giving order is perceived as someone as being qualified to direct other people’s behaviour where they are seen as legitimate and also the person being ordered believed that the authority will take the responsibility for what had happened.  

Agency theory state that people will obey an authority when they tend to believe the authority will take the responsibility for the consequences for their actions.  As when participants were reminded that they had the responsibility for their action, there are almost none of them continued the experiment, and when the experimenter told the participants that ;he would take responsibility, participants who are refused to go on resume back to experiment and go on with it.

Contrast

Although Milgram’s study found such a significant result in showing the obedience in society.  However, there are a lot of controversial issues that had shown in this study as portrayed in the movie.  Deception, rights to protect participants and right to withdraw are the three main elements that causes the issues in this study.  

Milgram’s study make the participants actually believed that they were shocking a real person.  However, Milgram believes that this deception is necessary in order to set the stage for the revelation of certain difficult-to-get-at-truths.  I also tends to believe that this deception is necessary as by disclosing the actual nature of the study may result in inaccuracy of the result.  I believed that as long as the experimenter or researcher did debrief the actual nature of the experiment at the end of the experiment and provide help that are reachable to the participants if they felt depressed and deceit.  In this movie, Milgram also interviewed participants in the post-experiment to find out the effect of the deception.  He concluded that there are majority of participants said that they are glad to be in the experiment and only a few minority said that they wished they had not been involved in it.  

In this study, participants were exposed to extremely stressful situations that may have the potential in causing psychological harm and many of the participants seems to be very distressed in the experiment.  There are many signs of tension included trembling, sweating, stuttering, laughing nervously, biting lips and digging fingernails into palms of hands are being shown in the participants.  However, Milgram argued that these effects were only short term as their stress level decreased when they are debrief.  As mentioned in the paragraph above, I tend to agree on Milgram’s point of view as these it was unavoidable to have these effects during the experiment but by providing sufficient information like counselling service and debriefing statement may help the participants to deal with the psychological distress that they had experienced.  Milgram also conducted a followed up study on the sample of participants a year later and he found that there were no longer any signs of long term psychological harm.  

Another main elements that are controversial in this study is the right to withdraw from the study.  The ethic review board states that experimenter or researcher should make plain explanation of their rights to free to withdraw from the study at any time that they wished.  Although it is seems difficult to practice it in this study as this study was about obedience, however, Milgram state that withdraw are still possible as there are 35% of the participants withdraw from it. I tends to believe that withdrawal from the study are not restricted only during the experiment but also after the experiment.  It is the right of participants in choosing whether are they comfort for the researcher to use the data in analysing the result.  

Dark Side of Human Nature

In this study, there are also participants who are unwilling to accept the truth that they obey the instructions and provide the electric shocks to the another person.  They are unable to accept this fact that they have the evils side in their body after they know the true nature of the study.  I believe that this is commonly found in the people as everyone tends to have the stereotyped about themselves that they are neither an angel or a devil.  However, in this experiment, it proved that they are wrong and mostly of the people continued the experiment although that the high voltage of electric shocks may result in harm to another person.  As a result, participants who are unwilling to accept the truth may start to blame the experimenter and the researcher to avoid any distress.  This situation can be further explained by using Fundamental Attributional Error (FAE).   In this theory, it stated that people tends to make the good judgment on themselves and bad judgment on the opposition.  People may tends to blame on the environment or other people that lead to this consequences.  This is portrayed in the movie when they are some participants blame on Milgram for conducting this study.  Although I believed that they might understand the reason and the situation well, however, it seems to be quite difficult for them to admit it.  

Conclusion

         In a conclusion, the purpose of the study is to investigate on how obedience could work in different factors that can influence in it and how far that obedience can drive people.  It is not the experiment to demonstrate the dark side nature of human beings.  Aside from that, I had came across a short video in promoting stop smoking campaign that talks about the children came to the passerby who are smoking to borrow the lighter to smoke but all the people including teenagers, working adults and parents refused to lend it to the child.  Some of them even explained the consequences of smoking to the child and persuade the child not to smoke.  Surprisingly, it seems like the smoker understand the cons of smoking and did not encourage people in smoking but why are they still continue in smoking despite they know the consequence.  I am always curious on what is the reason behind that keep the smoker in smoking and would also like to know how effective of persuasion is so powerful in helping to sending this message to the public.  

Amadeus

Amadeus is a fictionalized biography of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.  The whole movie is focused on two main character who are Antonio Salieri and Wolfgang Mozart.  Antonio Salieri who used to be the famous Italian composer in his country and was very popular in his country until the arrival of Mozart.  Mozart being a genius in composing a lot of well-known music and his success being a composer later become the obstacle for Salieri in his career life. This jealousy soon later drives him to have a plan to kills Mozart and to pass off a Requiem, which he had secretly commissioned from Mozart as his own, to be premiered at Mozart’s funeral.  

The whole story reminds me one three messages.  The first one is an idioms from Chinese that state that intelligent people like intelligence in others,and so good folk recognize the good in others.  This means that people who are same kind or have similar standard will tend to appreciate one and another capabilities as they seems themselves are outstanding from the norm.  For example, both Mozart and Salieri appreciate one and another talents and always seek help from one and another when they face problems.  Although in the movie, Salieri was jealous on the born talent that Mozart had, but he still admired and give recognition on Mozart’s piece of work.  There is even time when the other would not understand Mozart’s work, Salieri understand it and would try to explain it to himself.  Others than that, Salieri also attend all the stage play that conduct by Mozart as he believe that Mozart’s piece of work is the best.  Mozart being a genius in the field also appreciate Salieri and always seek help from him when he faced difficulty in writing a good stage play.  He believed on himself that he is the best composer but he will not denied that Salieri had the talent in him as well.  

Aside from that, the movie also portrayed another important element which is a great man cannot brook a rival.  This states that there is unlikely that there are two strongest person staying in a field together.  This is being portrayed in the movie when Salieri started his planning to kill Mozart as he believe that Mozart will take over his place soon if he continue to grow and he will become the history.  Usually when Greek meets Greek then comes the tug-of-war; however, Mozart still believes in Salieri that lead him to get tricked and soon he passed away due to exhaustion.  Salieri always had this thought on why both Mozart and him need to born in this same era.  If both of them are born in different era, maybe the story would be different as both of them can be the legend in their perspective era without killing one and another.  

Lastly, the movie told me on another important element is that what comes around goes around.  This is being portrayed in the movie when Salieri killed Mozart, he should be the lead in the field and well-known by people.  However, in fact, he end up staying in the psychiatric hospital and his piece of work is no longer being remembered by people.  This reminds me on the teaching in Buddhism that talks about karma where people will get good return if do good things and vice versa.  This teaching is parallel with my own belief where I believe that if the things tend to belong to me, no matter what happen, it will come back to me; however, if the things are not belong to me, no matter what have I done to withhold it, it will still leave.  This is what I believe in as the religion teaching and as well as my dad teach me since I was young.  

In a conclusion, this movie had portrayed a lot of morality that people who had seen it may reminds us again.  This is because I understand that people may know the morality as we had learn since we are young but we tends to forget to practice it as the day pass by.  By showing this morality in the movie, it reminds the audience once again not to forget what we had learn in the past.  

Whale Rider

Introduction

            Whale Rider is a story that talks about a young girl whose name Paikea on how she is struggle to the acceptance from her grandfather (Koro).  She is struggle to play the role what her grandfather expects her to be and the role that she believes she was born with. 

The story begins with the unfortunate incident when Paikea’s older twin brother and mother had passed away during birth.  Her father named her after the legendary ancestor Paikea; however, Koro did not recognize her appearance.  He denies Paikea as he believe that only the first-born male of every generation were allowed to take up the role of leader of the tribe.  Paikea had been left to her grandparents and being brought up by both her grandparents in the tribe.  Over the years as Paikea grew up, Koro no longer looked at Paikea with the same feeling of disappointment after a period of living together.  However, Koro still refused to treat her as the leader of the tribe.  But, Paikea believes that by sharing the same name with the ancestor, she firmly believes that it was her duty to lead the tribe and would not allow gender and Koro’s discourage statement to hold her back.  She tried a lot of other ways to learn to be the chief of the tribe.

There are several psychology concepts that may had demonstrated in this movie.  Below I will start to explain each concept one by one and show how it had been portrayed in the movie.  

Gender Identity

            As mentioned in the paragraph above Paikea was rejected by her grandfather.  The tribe practice patriarchal.  It is a social system in which males hold primary power and hold more predominant power over female like being the chief of the tribe.  Due to the culture that practice by the tribe, Koro invalidate Paikea’s significance in the family and to the people in the village.  But, Paikea did not believe in this culture and tried very hard to fit it so that she can grant the approval from her grandfather.  For example, she learned the Maori’s martial art from her uncle secretly; but, when her grandfather found it out, he was angry to Paikea as he believes that only male can learn it and it is specially prepared for the future leader.  Although Paikea perform better than other boy and did fulfilled all the requirement but Koro never accepted Paikea as his inheritance.

Need for recognition and acceptance

            Paikea behave like a boy to break the stereotype that Koro had onto her.  Her gender as being a female was destined and can’t be change, but there is something that still can change which is the ability.  She wants to prove to her grandfather on her ability is not being confined by gender and she has the ability to do what the boys can do and even can do better than them.  For instances, Paikea was able to dive into the ocean and retrieve the whale tooth that Koro had thrown in the sea and all the boy failed to do so. 

            Paikea did a lot of things that may seems to be not make any sense but the acceptance and recognition from Koro drove her to do it without hesitance.  This was being portrayed in the movie when Koro was depressed and was calling help from the ancestor when he did not found the right one to be the leader to lead the tribe.  Paikea saw that and wanted to help her grandfather.  She imitated the groan and tried to seek help from the ancestor although she did not know whether did this method work or not. 

Challenging Mindset

            The traditional mindset had been challenged and it changed until Koro realized that because of his stubbornness, he nearly lost his granddaughter and causes the tribe to lost the chief.  This remind me that people may not willing to change as change may indicate that they might do wrong in the past and need to step out from the comfort zone.  People will only realize the matter when it is too late to change and some irreversible events had happened.  I personally think that challenging is not an easy thing that everyone can do it especially in the conservative culture.  This is because conservative culture tends to have the stereotype that elderly will not admit their mistake in front of the young generation.  This happened in my family as well, although my mother is a well-educated person but she will not have admitted her false decision and always blame on others that lead to the situation become worse. 

This similar situation had reminded me on a book that I had read in the past that talks about every mistake is our own mistake no matter what is the reason behind it.  Although at first, I do not understand the analogy behind it and finally I get it right.  The analogy of this statement is that if we do admit that the mistake is the false that we had made, then we will have had the room of changing and improve it; however, if we blame it on others, we could not do anything and can only wait for other to change it.  To change others is not under our own capabilities but changing our own self is totally another different issue. 

Conclusion

            In a nutshell, the movie had brought a huge impact to me on the importance of family and community can grow further with harmony.  I believe that no matter what is the obstacles that we may encountered in our life, a family and the community stays together in harmony may help one and another to pass through it and move forward and become better compare to the past.  

Forget Paris

            I still remember that when I was young, I did have the chance to watch those fantasy movies like Cinderella, Snow White etc.  All of those stories have one common theme which always portray the ending with a happy ending by showing that both the lead male and female actor will live happily ever and after.  As an audience, sometimes we will be curious on the what would be their life after the story end; however, the story always just end there and did not further explain the story.  Forget Paris is another story that emphasize on the life after married of a couple.  Forget Paris is

Summary

            Mickey is a professional referee who travels to France to bury his father.  In the process, he met Ellen who works in the Airline that handling the shipping of the Mickey’s father coffin to the Paris.  Their meeting occurred as the Airline had lost Mickey’s father during the travel; with it he had the chances to meet Ellen in helping Mickey to locate and retrieve the coffin.  Their started fall in love in a short while and even Mickey decided to delay his flight in order to have the chance to spend time with Ellen.  However, every sweet moment should have an end when Mickey was forced to return back to his country for the NBA.

            The returnment of Mickey had caused him to miss the chance to be with Ellen as she had married.  Mickey could not give up on Ellen and even lose his temper during his job that lead to him being suspended by NBA, so he decided to flew back to Paris to find Ellen.  The truth had shocked him as Ellen got married but separated; however, he is unsure whether Ellen will get back together with her husband or not. 

            At last, Ellen got divorced with her husband and quit her job in France and got married with Mickey.  They had spent a honeymoon period like they had in the past in the Paris when they had met.  After the honeymoon period, Mickey went to back work and Ellen takes an entry-level service job.  Ellen started to feel lonely and depressed as she hated her new job and she could only saw Mickey a few days in a month.  Ellen forced Mickey to quit his job and he compromise by taking a one-year leave of absence and started to working as a car seller. 

            Mickey was very unhappy with his new job and need to stay at home to take care of Arthur, Ellen’s father.  He revealed that he wanted to go back to become referee as he love his job very much.  However, as Ellen had climb up to the management and had been offered a transfer to Dallas, but Mickey refuse it.  As a result, Ellen decided to take on the offer to transfer to Paris.  Now, both of them did not have the chances to spend time with one and another as Mickey was busy with his NBA tour and Ellen was working in Paris. 

            Both of them could not stand the loneliness and the empty feeling without the company of the others.  Mickey decided to run to Paris to find Ellen and before he make it to the airport, he saw Ellen in the arena.  Both of them meet and reconcile at the middle of the court and decided to be together again. 

Analogy of Marriage

            I always heard that people describe marriage as ½ + ½ = 1.  However, I think that this analogy is incorrect in describing marriage.  This is because I believe that every individual should be a complete person but not a half person.  Marriage is a combination of two complete people who hope to life together.  Recently, I had heard another analogy in describing marriage which is the companions in the journey of life.  I tends to believe that this analogy is more suitable in describing it as I believe that a couple in a marriage is a companion who can company one and another to walk in their journey of life which contains a lot of up and downs.  I believe that there is no one single life is smooth and there is always up and downs that people need to experience and marriage allows the people to have someone in accompanying to pass through it. 

Myths of Couplehood

Marriage is not the only option that we have in order to keep going in life.  Being

single is not the bad things; however, I believe that rushing into marriage without proper planning is worse.  This is because we may have not prepare physical and mentally in stepping into marriage and this may lead to us to blame on it later in life.  As a result, it is advised that people need to focus on our journey before finding a companion.  Finding a companion is not the only thing that we need focus in our life.  I tend to believe that if a person who have live a full and complete live are more likely to succeed in getting the right partner later in life. 

            People who live an empty life tends to dependent and place unreasonable expectations on their behalf.  It is important that people do no start their relationship due to loneliness or other factors unless we think that we have ready to step in it.  People should not always have the idea to seek for perfect compatible mate as the criteria in seeking future partner.  There is no one who are perfectly compatible with one and another; as every people are brought up differently with different culture of background, personality, values and etc.  I believe that perfect mate should be the one who can adapt and compromise with one another by understanding what is the difference between the couple and empower the strength of the couple to minimize the conflict and gap between them. 

            In a conclusion, I think that communication is a very important element in a couplehood relationship.  Almost all the conflict start by having assumption.  People should not assume what other people think on the issue as it may not the truth.  Couple should also leave each other some space so that they are not stress with the close and intimate attachment. 

Why Mickey and Ellen had so many conflicts?

            Mickey and Ellen always argue with one and another as they always have high expectations both of them had of each other, as they would always highlight their magical week in Paris, and would say how both of them had changed so much since the time they first met. Because of this, their current relationship was neglected leaving it to crumble because of Mickey and Ellen’s lack of focus on their current situation at hand.  Their relationship did not work well was because of the high expectations coupled with wrong intentions held by both Mickey and Ellen. Why I say wrong intentions is because when the two met each other, both of them were at their lowest points in their lives with Mickey struggling with his career, and Ellen separating from her husband. When one gets into a relationship in order to conceal the wounds of past pains, the outcome can be less than ideal especially if both partners are not willing to work with each other in order for both parties to grow and heal from their past wounds.  That’s why I believe that high expectations and only focus on the past is the factors that may lead to conflict between the couples.  Couple who always focus in the past may not move forward and may tend to blame on the other half for not having this and that. 

Conclusion

            In a nut shell, this movie had taught me the importance of communication in working on the relationship.  Relationship is not one-sided and it always need both parties to work hard together to pass through all the up and downs.  In the end, just like any other kind of relationship, if we want to make it successful, it would require a lot of work from both partners with communication being key to success. 

Strictly Ballroom

            Musical movie is always one type of the movie that capture my attention.  This is because musical movie had broken my stereotype toward the typical movie that only focus on the acting but it also emphasis on music elements.  High School Musical Series was the first time I started in be in touch with musical series movie.  Soon later, I started to fall in love into this similar type of movie.  I thought that the first musical movie that I had watched is the first release of the similar movie in the history.  This perception stays in my head until that day, I get the chance to watch Strictly Ballroom.  Then only I realize that musical movie had already started release in the 90 centuries. 

Summary

            Strictly Ballroom is a romantic comedy film that talks about how an Australian ballroom dancer, Scott struggles to establish his style of dance that he had invented to win the Pan-Pacific Grand Prix Dancing Championship.  The style of dance that he had invented had not been recognized by anyone as the people think that he is against the rule that Australian Dancing Federation had set.  Only one of the girl, Fran, a beginner dancer who just start to learn dancing in Scott parents’ studio that support Scott decision and thinks that his style of dance is better than the normal step that everyone is following and had made an offer to dance with him.  However, Scott reject Fran’s offer to dance with her as he thinks that she did not have the qualification to dance with him as he started to dance since young and had become a professional dancer unlike Fran as a beginner.  After a lot of up and downs, Scott finally had taken on the chances to dance with Fran in the Pan-Pacific Grand Prix and forget about the winning the competition.  Lastly, the action that they done in the competition had grant them a lot of recognition from the people in the crowd that means a lot to Scott and Fran which are heavier than winning the competition. 

            In this movie, it had well demonstrated on how social influence had impact on people life.  There are three main components in social influence which are compliance, conformity, and obedience. 

Compliance

            Compliance is defining as change of one’s behaviours because of other people’s directing or asking for change.  The change may not involve a change in attitudes or beliefs of another person.  Compliance is developed by three factors which are mood, reciprocity, and reasons.  This is demonstrated in the film when the Liz complies to Scott with his new steps in taking part in a dancing competition.  This can be showed that Liz did not agree with Scott decision as she blames on Scott for being so disobedience and did not follow the rule that are set by the Australian Dancing Federation that lead to lose in the competition.  Liz are forced to complies to what Scott desired in as there are limited time left to decide on whether did she want to follow to Scott’s step and also there is rule that female dancing partner should follow the male dancing partner in dancing. 

            Besides that, Scott also comply to the rule in following the rule that are set by the authority.  At first, he was not convinced by the influence of authority, his mother as he believed that it was against his principles in dancing.  However, Barry, the presidents of Australian Dancing Federation told Scott the fake story to trigger his emotion to persuade him to dance with Liz with the official step.  At the end of the story, Barry even “beg” Scott to win the champion to help his father to make the dream come true that his father had lost the opportunity when he was young.  In the end, Scott comply to Barry as he thinks that by helping his father to realize the dream is more important than dancing on his own style.  This shows how mood, reciprocity, and reason become the factors that why Scott will comply to Barry’s instruction. 

Conformity

            Conformity is the tendency that people alter their behaviour because of group pressure.  People will change their own behaviour to match with the rest.  In the film, it shows that most of the dancer in the movie tends to conform to the rule if they want to stand a chance to win.  People will not against the rule and against the norm as it may result them to be the odd one and may lost the chance to win the competition.  In the worsen condition, it may also result in the dancer to lose their career life as a dancer. 

            Moreover, conformity level tends to increase when there has confident confederate.  This is shows when all the dancer tends to dance according to the rule except Scott and Fran as the appearance that Barry shown to the audience is so powerful and confident that cause the people to be afraid to go against him.  However, in the last scene of the movie, Scott’s father, Doug stand up and clapped for the performance for Scott and Fran had been performed in front of all the audience in the Pan-Pacific Grand Prix competition.  His action had influence all the audience stood up and clapped for Scott and Fran.  This conformity demonstrate on how the minority can influence on the majority with the criteria that the minority need to highlight a great confidence and consistency in his action. 

Obedience

            Obedience is an action that follow the authority by the an individual.  It is demonstrated in the movie when Fran was threatened by Scott’s mother, Shirley to go away and left Scott to dance with Tina or Liz so that he gets the chance to win the competition.  The appearance of Shirley had demonstrated obedience by Fran as Shirley is the authority that had the higher power in deciding things that forced people to believe in her. 

            Aside from that, Barry also tends to be the authority figure that portrays a powerful person that give instruction to the people.  With it, the people will then follow the instructions that are given by Barry blindly.  People will not investigate on the reason behind on why the authority figure had come to the decision in given these instructions to them. 

Why it is named Strictly Ballroom?

            The director decided to name the movie as Strictly Ballroom and dancing is the main elements in the movie.  This is because dancing is one the expressing art where people can showcase their state of minds freely; however, ballroom dancing is one type of dance that allows the dancer to dance freely with a certain condition.  Past research did found out that dance is associate to confidence, mate-selection and social bonding.  Strictly Ballroom might indicate that dancer who dance in the ballroom is being stereotype within a set of rules unlike street dancer who can express freely without any restriction. 

Impact

            In this movie, the main message that are being sent to the audience is how social influence had plays an important role in influence people.  As mentioned in the above, I did explain on how the social influence is playing the important role in the movie.  Aside from that, there is also one sentence that wake me up as an individual which is “A Life Lived In Fear Is A Life Half-Lived”.   This states that people who always have the fear in his or her heart will always stop him or her in stepping forward so it is no longer can be consider as living in a meaningful life.  This has reminded me that people should not be coward and should always tried our best to do anything that we intended to no matter what is the final outcomes of the actions.   There is always stereotype that people have toward us and have a lot of opinion that they have and hope that we can follow.  This might stop us from trying that may lead us to regret on not grabbing the chance to trying in the future. 

            This sentence also reminds me that once I have a friend said that “if we did not do it when we are still young, then when we will have the chance to do it later in life”.  This has encouraged me to do many things that I used not dare to do in the past and has resulted me who I am today.  Being an introvert, I always do not dare to step out from the comfort zone but with this encouragement, I started to stepped out from the comfort zone and know more people by joining club and society.  With this experience, this had help me to know a lot of precious friend that can help me and guide me when I was down.  I think that I would regret if and only if I did not dare to follow my heart in doing things that I want to. 

Conclusion

            In a conclusion, I think that people should never be afraid of making a change or simply being different than everybody else.  Conformity is not a must to be a bad social influence, but it is definitely not a wise choice in letting conformity to get in the way being an obstacle of achieving something which we believe in.  

Eat Drink Man Woman

Eat Drink Man Woman is a Taiwanese film directed by Ang Lee and distributed in the 1994.  Ang Lee, one of the well-known Chinese directors who famously known by his Hollywood sensational movie ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’, has perfectly portrayed the concerns of conflicting familial relationships as well as a culture of suppressing one’s personal thoughts and feelings with extravagant traditional Chinese cuisine as a portrayal medium in this movie. The main two elements in this movie is the food and man-woman relationship.  Food as one of the essential element that keep us alive had been used in the movie as one of the symbol to portray family unity whereby all the family member will eat together every Sunday.  I think it is a brilliant idea of using this scene as it seems to be simple yet important medium to illustrate the most typical Asian family’s culture.  For example, my family also practice this culture that whenever we are having dinner together we need to wait for all the arrival of the family member before starting to have the meal.  As the Chinese New Year had just passed, it also did reminds me on the Chinese Reunion Dinner as all the family member will come back and sit together to have the meal together as the symbol of family unity. 

Summary

            ‘Eat Drink Man Woman’ (1994) tells a story of Lao Chu, autocratic single father of three daughters who is also a chef that has spent most of his time preparing and cooking incredible great-looking and mouth-watering food (even audience also feels the hunger and urge to consume those foods shown in the movie, I am one of them) in the big restaurant who has lost his sense of taste. Despite his loss, he is still a national treasure when it comes to Chinese traditional cuisine recipe and he relies most of food-testing part on his partner who is also his best friend, Wen to tell whether that dish he has made is mouth-watering or eye-watering.

He is persistent and firm of his Sunday-must-eat-together weekly dinner and insists his daughters to attend every week; however, the daughter perceived it as Sunday-torturing dinner.  In the movie, it portrayed that the purpose of having this Sunday dinner is to bring announcement.  At the beginning of this film, the daughter perceived family is not a happy place as there is some misunderstanding that happen between them and his father. There are generational conflicts between father and daughter as well as tension between sisters depicting difference of traditional expectations and desires of women seem to revolve around this family.  The main message of this movie that the director would want to pass to the audience is that the dinner table will always be the place where everyone can communicate, share their inner thoughts, and express themselves. 

Perceptions about the movie

The story portray the time settings in the early 90 where this is the period that Asian may still having the conservative mindset that when the girl reached the certain age and it is the time for them to get married.  This type of mindset can be trace back to the past when the past ancient time when the emperor dynasty still exists.  At that time, people may get married at the very young age and some may even become mother at the age of 16.  This may not have showed any big deal at that time as the role of a woman is to get married and to carry on one’s ancestral line.  However, people nowadays the role of woman had been twisted that they are no longer the child production machines and may be able to get education to get the same standard of equality as man do.  In the movie, the main character is the father who still have the old mindset that woman should get married when it is the time.  However, three daughters may not have the same thinking as the father had as they did believe in the faith that they will only get married when their Mr. Right has come.  This portrayed what current generation think about marriage as people nowadays are more heavily rely on faith as compared to the past. 

            Besides that, this movie also consistently showed some expected yet unexpected moments.  In the movie, audience tends to expect that there are some climaxes that the daughter may get married; however, the audience may not know guess the reason behind it on why they are getting married in the rush.  Not to forget the last part when the main character, Lao Chu had reveal his secret that he falls in love with his daughter’s friend and decided to get married with her.  It tells the audience that everything in the reality that there is always chance that we might get some unexpected events happen no matter how well that we have prepared for it.  It reminds people that we need to have the room for change as things may not go as what he had think about it. 

            Lastly, another main element in the movie is the man-woman relationship.  There are several kinds of relationship that are evolve around people in the world beside than sex as we known.  In the movie, it portrayed the father-daughter, siblings, sex, love, and friend relationship.  All this kind of relationship are basically the relationship that most of the people may experience it in their lifetimes.  People need to understand that whenever there is relationship, there will be conflict.  The most common conflict that people should have experienced will be the generational conflict where it usually happens between parents and children especially when the children are in teenage years when rebellion may take place.  This can be showed in the movie where the relationship between father and daughter are so tensed as both sides may not be able to understand one and another.  The misunderstanding and miscommunication may eventually become the factors that lead to conflict.  Generational conflict is common as the views of the parents and children may not be the same due to different social experience that they have faced.  I love the way this friction is portrayed in a sense that it is so real till it can be related to our social and familial environment as well. For example, l used to have some formed of conflict between my parents and me.  This happened when I was in my teenage years when my parents insist not to buy me a handheld device when it is so common in those day and everyone in the school has it except me.  There is once we had a big fight as I wanted it so badly till I even secretly bought it with the pocket money that I had saved up for quite a period of times; but, my parents had found out and decided to throw it away.  At that moment of times, I think that my parents are no longer in love of me and they are someone who are unreasonable as they did not provide any explanation.  This conflict has been unsolved and brought it forward till when I reached 18 years old where I received my first handphone.  Soon, I realized the reason behind it when my parents insist for not giving me a handphone when I was young.  This is one of the case that I have personally experience where miscommunication may develop into conflict and luckily it had resolved. 

Conclusion

            In a nut shell, this movie had portrayed a strong message on family relationship.  As what I had understanding family by definition means the first group of people, related by blood that have the first contact with us when we step onto this Earth.  I also do believe that family is not only being grounded by the blood related by also others like friend who can be as close as family members.  The average lifespan of human is about 75 years old, but we might not have the chance that we can spend every moment with the person that are significant to us.  In short, I think that we should appreciate all the years that we have left with not only family but also the person that we think had played a crucial role in our life.  As I believed that life is so fragile that anything can happen within a spilt second.  Hence, always cherish the moments that have spent together as for tomorrow, you may not have the chance to show your love to them anymore.  

Awakenings

Awakenings is a 1990 American drama film based on Oliver Sacks's 1973 memoir of the same title. It illustrates the true story of British neurologist fictionalized as American Malcolm Sayer, who had discovered some beneficial effects of the drug L-Dopa that may help the patients in the hospital. He administered it to one of a catatonic patient, Leonard Lowe who had survived from the epidemic of encephalitis lethargica after getting consent from the patient’s family. Leonard Lowe had awake from the disease and his successful case study had been proven to the others expertise that this drug may worked to all the other similar patients as well. After the long process of persuading the respective people, Dr. Syer managed to get the prescription to all the other patients. The miracles happened when all of the patients were awakened after decades of catatonia and have to deal with a new life in a new time. However, the story did not just end there. The effects of the drug can only be worked for a short period of time and soon later all the patients start experiencing the catatonic again and eventually reach the stage of catatonia. At this point of time, increasing the dosage of the drug is no longer effective to cure the patients. 

            This is my first watching this kind of true story that happen in the old days and did not end with a happy ending. It reminds me that in the reality that not everythings can end with a happy ending as there might be ups and downs in the life. As my dad told me before that there is no one life that can be as smooth as silk, there is always some obstacles in front that are waiting for us to overcome it. He said that people should not be afraid of failure and need to take failure into consideration as experience that we would not making the same mistake again. I believe that failure is the mother of success as it also did show in the movie that Dr. Sayer had tried several times in getting the right amount of the prescription before it worked out.  Without the several trials and the determination of Dr. Sayer, Leonard and the other patients may not be able to can be awake from the catatonia state.  From the movie, it had taught me that when there is a will, there is a way. No matter what happen, there is always way that we can solve the problem one day if we do not give up.

            Another main element that I had learnt from the movie is learn to appreciate and be grateful that we had.  The speech that Leonard Lowe had given to the hospital admins in having the freedom to come and go as he pleases had awake me some lessons that used to know. People always take things for granted and always complaint on things that they do not have; however, they do not know that everything that we are having is a gift and luck that we have compare to many others.  For example, people always think that able to achieve the physiological needs are just nothing and always seek for a higher standard and ignore it, however people do not know that this thing that we take for granted may be very important to someone who may not even be able to achieve these needs.  As a psychology student, it reminds me that depressed patients may think negative and commit suicide as they may have the thought that the world has not treated them fairly.  With the CBT, it may help them to recognise that they are not the worst cases in the world and there are always people who are currently in a more suffer stage from them but they did not give up, so do them? With the CBT, it can help the patients to create the new thought that being alive are something that are more precious as without live people are just nothing. 

            In the conclusion, I think that this movie did not just poke me up in teaching me some good life-learning lesson but also allows me to used what I learnt to help the people in need.  As helping people may also can be interpreted as blessing as well. Lastly, the lesson that I learnt from the movie may also help me in my future career, life coach in guiding the client to a better future. 

Cinema Paradiso

            Cinema Paradiso is a type of ancient movie that talked about the past in the 19^th century that describe how evolution of movie industry had change a boy’s life.  In the story, it started when the boy is a at a very young age and he had fell in love with the movies at his village’s theatre, cinema paradiso.  In the cinema theatre, he had formed a deep relationship with the theatre’s projectionist like father like friend. 

            In this movie, it did portray on how the childhood is so important in impacting a children life in the future. For example, Toto loved movie when he was young and although many people did tell him that being a projectionist is not a good job for him as he might not be able to earn high paid and need to work almost every day in an enclosed area.  Toto being a student who was quite smart should have job that are better than this.  However due to his passion to the movie and accident that Adelfio had encountered, he decided to take over the place of being a projectionist in a very young age. 

            Aside from that, another element that had impact me was the relationship that had formed between Adelfio and Toto.  Many people think that the relationship between Adelfio and Toto was friendship even Toto’s mother had the same thought.  However, I felt that Toto treat Adelfio not only as friend but also a person with father figure.  This is because Toto’s father had passed away in the war and he did not have the opportunity to spend much time with his father and the only male adult that he was closed to was Adelfio.  They share the same commonality that both of them love movie and Adelfio willing share all his experiences with Toto like father sharing their story to the children. 

            Lastly, the part that most impacting me was the last part when the Adelfio kept his promise and give all the uncensored scene to Toto when he was old enough to handle it.  This triggered me to remind on my father.  My father is a person who also always keep teaching me that a person need to keep promise and do not make a promise if we are unable to fulfilled it.  By keeping promise may indicate the person is reliable and responsible.  If the person did not be able to keep their promise, they may lose their credibility to the others and soon they might be no one in trusting us anymore.